Unfortunately, problem debting is a little-known, and highly stigmatized, condition. This makes it difficult to connect with other debtors, and get the support I need in order to keep my nose clean, financially speaking. The simple fact is that most people will not admit they’re compulsive debtors, no matter how badly they have fallen victim to the affliction. Despite the fact that access to credit is easy to come by for problem debtors (Americans will receive “approximately 5.3 billion offers for new credit cards”[i] next year, and “at least 10 percent of consumers have more than 10 credit cards in their wallets”[ii]), we would prefer to act as if the problem does not exist.
Let’s compare debting to another addiction, such as alcohol. While a stigma still exists about being an alcoholic, there is also a kind of rugged pride in being in recovery for alcoholism. If someone is a recovering alcoholic, he will in general be respected, both by those in recovery, and those who are not. If you have a drinking problem, and you take care of it, you are considered a person of integrity, looking out for yourself and others.
It’s a little different with debting. As financial expert Jean Chatzky writes:
The thing about a shopping problem, unlike a drinking problem or a drug problem, is that it’s so easy to mask. Even highly addicted shoppers seem to be smart (they’re certainly smart about getting a good deal), well-educated, certainly well-dressed people – and they’re participating in an activity that’s completely acceptable. You can do it with your friends.[iii]
While it’s easy to shop with your friends, the problem is that it’s hard to let them in on your recovery from a shopping addiction. In fact, only a handful of my closest friends and confidants know I am a debtor, and aside from my clients who struggle with money and debt, I know only two people who have identified themselves to me as debtors. Just writing this book (and I do think it’s becoming a book) is an act of courage and a leap of faith. I know a debtor’s story needs to be told, because no one else is telling it. Millions of us are suffering, but it seems like no one’s talking about it. I feel called to do something about that, which is why I’m putting so much energy into this writing project.
Still, it’s embarrassing to even write some of this down, and to think someone will read these words one day. I’m willing to do it; I’m writing the book I wish someone else had written for me. I feel called to do it, not just for me any more, but for other debtors who are still suffering.
In spite of all that, the fact that I’m a debtor is not something I would share in general conversation with most people. By way of contrast, I can tell virtually anyone that I don’t drink, and they accept it. They might even admire me for that choice, and if they didn’t, they would at least keep it to themselves. However, if I were to tell someone I don’t use credit cards, I would get a funny look. And I certainly would get a funny look if I were to tell anyone that I’m tens of thousands of dollars in debt. In our culture, those conversations just don’t seem to take place in polite company.
Part of the problem is that our modern financial structure makes it so easy to hide your true level of debt or wealth. If I see you walking down the street wearing a $500 coat, I don’t know if you:
A) Have a lot of money, and didn’t even think twice about buying the coat;
B) Earned and saved the money to buy the coat;
C) Inherited some money and bought the coat;
D) Were given the coat as a gift;
E) Bought the coat on credit, and have a plan for paying it off;
or
F) Are a problem debtor, “just had” to have the coat, and charged it, with no idea of how, or if, you’re going to pay it off.
Because there’s no way to know, and it’s rude to ask, problem debtors walk around all the time, flashing fancy items they can’t really afford, with no one the wiser. I should know, because I did it for years. The Pleasure of Purchase is an unbeatable high, and millions of people who can’t afford to are getting high in this way every day. But very few are talking about it, and even fewer acknowledge the debtors’ epidemic that’s slowly suffocating our culture.
The POP, and the easy access to credit which makes it possible for so many Americans to experience it, is the reason we face a national consumer debt total of $880 billion (a shocking figure which, even more shockingly, is 100 times higher in current dollars than it was in 1968[iv]). The POP is the reason why “half of all credit card holders don’t pay the full amount of credit card charges each month;”[v] they can’t afford to. They’ve racked up too many bills through the POP to be able to pay them all off.
The POP is the reason why, “according to the Federal Reserve Bank, 40% of American families spend more than they earn.”[vi] It’s the reason why the epidemic is only getting worse, and why problem debting is ruining the lives of so many Americans, with more, tragically, added to the list every day.
[i] Brinker, Mark. “Credit Card Debt Statistics.” This particular statistic is taken Synovate, and cited by Mr. Brinker on www.hoffmanbrinker.com/credit-card-debt-statistics.html. Mr. Brinker is an attorney who advises clients and negotiates on their behalf to help them reach agreeable settlements with creditors. I don’t know him personally, but found his web site very helpful and very much approve of the work he’s doing.
[ii] Federal Reserve, cited on www.creditcards.com.
[iii] Chatzky, Jean (2004). Pay It Down (p. 172). New York: Penguin Group. Chatzky has a number of very readable, extremely helpful books full of practical advice for managing your money and getting out of debt. I particularly enjoy this one. She also has a radio show on the Oprah channel on XM radio, which is both entertaining and highly informative.
[iv] Brinker, op. cit. (Brinker cites this statistic from the Federal Reserve Bank.)
[v] Ibid. (Brinker cites this statistic from an Experian-Gallup Personal Credit Index survey.)
[vi] www.federalreserve.gov
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