October 27

In the movie “Fight Club,” the main characters, played by Edward Norton, and his girlfriend, played by Helena Bonham Carter, have a penchant for self-help groups. They like to go, and pretend to have the problems the group addresses (even though they really don’t have those particular problems). At one point, Marla, the protagonist’s girlfriend, says, “If you want to see some really messed up people, go to Debtors Anonymous” (which is a fellowship, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, for people who have trouble with money and debting).

Now, I don’t quite agree with Marla’s assessment. We debtors are not, in fact, all that “messed up.” What we are is disorganized, impulsive, chaotic, confused, undisciplined, and powerless over our addictive behavior. From the perspective of the disease model of addiction, we have an illness, one which can be treated and arrested, but never cured.

I didn’t begin debting because I was “messed up.” I began because I was in pain, and spending money helped me ease that pain. For many years, debting was an effective way to bury my feelings of anger, frustration, impatience, self-doubt, and inadequacy.

I didn’t quit because I wanted to, either. I quit because my financial health became a life-or-death situation for me. That may sound a bit dramatic, but think about it. There are many addictive behaviors in our society, such as alcoholism, compulsive overeating, sex addiction, and drug abuse. If you go too far with any of them, they’re all fatal. You can drink yourself to death, or die in a drunken driving accident; you can ruin your health by eating poorly and die of a heart attack; you can catch a deadly STD by being promiscuous; you can overdose on heroin, cocaine, or methamphetamine.

Debting can actually be just as dangerous as any of these. Who’s to say how far I would have gone, if I hadn’t stopped debting? Maybe I would have borrowed money from a loan shark, reneged on the deal, and gotten killed. Maybe I would have committed some kind of tax fraud, or other illegal activity, and been sent to prison. Maybe I would have gotten so deep in debt and depression that I would have committed suicide, as many debtors unfortunately do.

I stopped before it was too late, but I know that, if I want to be alive and happy, I must keep my financial house in order. I must never, ever debt again, and that is the pledge I make here now. One day at a time, I vow never to debt again. I must remain abstinent from my drug, if I am to have a life worth living.